Decisions Decisions

I am indecisive, more so when it comes to financial decisions, like purchasing things for myself, I'm always concerned I'm not saving enough money, I think that fear stems from knowing I am responsible for someone other than myself ie: My Child. I think I feel selfish when I buy myself something expensive, but at the same time i need to be happy too, If I'm not happy, I can't make anyone else happy. You need to be happy in order to make others happy ie: our children.

Before I had my daughter Music was my life, it was what I thought about when I woke up in the morning and was my last thought before sleep at night, I know being a Singer is not a practical career for a single mother, there is no financial security, the hours are too long and I could never justify that much time away from my daughter, so I've conceded that this dream has to wait, and I'll be honest it hurts me deeper than I can express, but the unconditional love I feel for my daughter overwhelms that pain, being a Mother is something more than I have ever imagined, She is my world.

So today I bought myself a Keyboard, one with weighted keys so it is similar to that on a Piano, I feel guilty as it took a significant amount from my savings but at the same time I need to feel that connection to Music again.

I'm also about to start studying again, Certificate 4 in Community Services which I'm partly accredited in Thanks to Talking Realities and I hope to finish that in 6 months through OTEN. Which brings me to my next big decision University. I've always had an interest in Education and have decided to take my career in the direction of Primary Teaching, I'm still deciding as it is a big change.

All these decisions....