Friday, 23 June 2017

First step to my career completed

Last day of tafe and handed in my final two assessments, have never felt such a weight lifted off my shoulders lol. The whole way through I felt like giving up when things became tough and life threw one of the hardest challenges at me, but I continued and fought it the whole way, I completed  assessments I never thought I would, that poor assement book which i scrunched up and screamed at multiple  times aha.  One of the best was meeting new people of all different cultures and making awesome tafe friends and the best teachers ever, so supportive and willing to help where ever  they could.  I'm excited for the next chapter in my life, I am now one step closer to my career goal.
To everyone starting a new course or chapter in life and are scared or think you cant do this, You can do anything and be proud  of yourself  every single step of the way.

#YoungMumsCanDoAnyThing #KickingGoals

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Have faith within yourself ❤️

Life is not always going to go as planned. There will be good days, and bad days. All that matters is that you keep on moving forward! Walk your line, focus on what's best for you, stay positive, never lose hope and everything will fall into place naturally.... one step at a time 💭🌹

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Anxiety and Stress of Uni Exams and assessments

Lately i have been feeling really overwhelmed with all the assessments and exams i have coming up. I have been pretty slack and left 2 of my assessments late, i am now staying up each night for hours trying to get them done... I  have had on average 3 hours of sleep each night the last week :(
before stating uni last year i had no idea how much the workload would be, i was so used to being at tafe and getting heaps of help from my teachers and other students now i am overloaded !!!!
I seriously need more time in a day !!!!! the only time i can get to work on my assessments or study is when the kids are in bed, and lately this has been late. if i try and get my laptop out, my littlest one is always straight behind me wanting to "play games" if i say no i am trying to study she will kick off and chuck a tantrum. When listening to a 3 years old scream its pretty hard to concentrate so i just put it away.
One thing i am grateful for though is the support from my partner, he tries his best to let me get my work done, and always gives encouraging words when i feel like crap or feel like i will fail or not get anything done
i just need to keep pushing, because i have worked so hard to get here im not going to let my anxiety and stress get to me. Only one and a half years to go and ill be a registered nurse !!!!

Kayla :) :)

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

School holidays.

So.. I'm a special needs mum! And it really is sooo difficult. Worth it.. Different… But difficult.

As my son has panic attacks, taking him out is out of the question without a thorough talk-through. I have to show him pictures of where we are going, i have to ensure he has adequate support (i could never go alone as if he runs off then i can't chase him :(

So we didn't leave unless absolutely necessary. My son loves his house. Everything about the house. Sure, he has his out and about days where we can go to flip out, the playground etc. But heaven forbid i need something from the shops! We go into a mall, but as soon as we have to go into a shop, he will melt down on the floor.. He will not get up.

Our routine is the same every day. And the holidays has thrown him off like something fierce! Today was the first day back at school after 3 weeks of easter break holidays and all i can say is.. My son was so happy today after telling him for three days he has school coming back. Routine is back, i am sooooo glad for him.  (and me.. no meltdowns lol).

So i guess my point of todays blog is..

Please don't judge that kid that had a meltdown on the floor at the shops. We special needs mums need to go out and get that bread or shoes too! Don't say 'oh you should just stay at home then'. Don't you think we tried? It's so isolating enough as it is.. that i can't even go out with my own son. Do you think i asked for him to have special needs? Please be more thoughtful.

We're all great parents, special needs or not. However, i want to take this time to PRAISE special needs parents!! You are the real MVP! (Most valuable player ;))

Friday, 21 April 2017

Sometimes it's okay! ♥️

When I became a mum my priorities changed. Obviously.

But something else changed that I'm not happy about and it's taken me three bloody years to notice it- I feel guilty EVERY SINGLE TIME I do something for myself. Like LITERALLY.EVERY.TIME. And the WHOLE time.

I get my hair done, I feel bad. I buy some tan in a can, I feel bad. I have a drink, I feel bad. I get a baby sitter, I feel bad. Because I 'should' be spending ALL my money on Addie and our future. I 'should' be spending ALL my time with her. God forbid I do something nice for myself. 

Somewhere along the line I was made to feel that these things were selfish. I've already cut SO much out of my life and as any parent, sacrificed so much. The few things I still do for myself I don't even enjoy because I'm riddled with guilt or regret. What the frick is that about? 

Because here's the thing- if I couldn't afford food for my child, no way would I be getting my hair dyed every 6-8 weeks. I'd let my red roots grow out if I had to. If I couldn't clothe my child, no way would I buy things for myself. I'd wear the same clothes every day if I had to. I spend 98% of my time with Addie, playing with her, looking after her, making memories with her. She's very well looked after and for someone who's not currently rolling in cash, I think I do a good job of making ends meet. And she sure as hell isn't missing out on anything. 

So sometimes I wanna go out and have a drink or ten and sometimes I need a break. Does that mean I'm a bad mum? Am I scarring my child for life for having a life of my own? I don't think so.

I suffered post natal depression for seven months after Addie was born and let me tell you this- I would have suffered a whole lot less if I'd done one bloody thing for myself and not felt so god damn bad about asking for the helping hand that I so desperately needed.

So mums, dads and carers remember this- You are still human and it is in your best interest AND your children's that you look after yourself too. Your children need you to be okay. 

Go for a walk, take a nap, buy some new shoes, get your nails done, go on a holiday without your kids, take up a hobby, make a weekly date night, catch up with friends. Whatever the hell it is that's going to give you some sanity or much needed alone time, do it! 

I know I'm a better mum when I'm not run into the ground and hating myself. So wherever this stigma came from, I know others feel it to, I'm going to try my very hardest to get rid of it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have a glass of wine in my much needed bubble bath.

Monday, 17 April 2017

Eye opener

Some parents would be jumping for joy having time away from their child. I had to go back to WA on my own without my partner or child...I thought I'd miss my partner lol nope but it did open my eyes 😂I complain about my partner quiet a bit probly too much, we as mothers get taken for granted but I think also our partners, when I found out that I had to go he said straight away I'll stay with Cienna and you go I was shocked as he had recently been badly attacked and was still recovering but he didn't think twice....not like him he struggles having her for a few hours lol I gave him a run down on what will need to be done i Could see in his face he was worried haha but said he will be fine. The whole time I was away he did a awesome job cooking,cleaning,daycare runs, working,being a dad, even doing her hair 😂😂and all other general duties. He admitted it was hard and said he actually appreciates how much I do now as before he would say oh its not that hard or youv had all day, Now he knows what it is like doing everything. I didn't think he was capable of doing it all on his own. I'm glad we have had this chance to open each others eyes and appreciate each other also there is not less bickering at each other woooohooo 😜

Sunday, 2 April 2017

Worrying seems to never end

As a parent we are constantly worrying and stressing about everything and anything. Lately my youngest daughter Summer has started stuttering when she is talking. It has just happened all of a sudden and i want to do what i can to help her talk and express herself without her getting upset or frustrated. She was 3 in January and her speech has always been a little bit delayed, but now she has started to stutter and its worrying me !!! I do know that at this age kids can start to stutter because they are learning so many new phrases and sentences but this still hasn't put my mind to rest. When i see my baby girl struggling to get her words out it really upsets me and breaks my heart and i want to do what i can to help her.  I will be taking her to my local GP soon to see if there is anything we can do to help her, such as speech therapy. I am just putting it off for a little while to see if she improves on her own and if its just a phase she is going through as i know other parents who kids have done the same and the stuttering has corrected itself.
I love my kids so much and want them to be happy, healthy and love life !!! Even if there may be struggles along the way, we will get through anything because we have each other and we will work on things together !!!