Sometimes it's okay! ♥️

When I became a mum my priorities changed. Obviously.

But something else changed that I'm not happy about and it's taken me three bloody years to notice it- I feel guilty EVERY SINGLE TIME I do something for myself. Like LITERALLY.EVERY.TIME. And the WHOLE time.

I get my hair done, I feel bad. I buy some tan in a can, I feel bad. I have a drink, I feel bad. I get a baby sitter, I feel bad. Because I 'should' be spending ALL my money on Addie and our future. I 'should' be spending ALL my time with her. God forbid I do something nice for myself. 

Somewhere along the line I was made to feel that these things were selfish. I've already cut SO much out of my life and as any parent, sacrificed so much. The few things I still do for myself I don't even enjoy because I'm riddled with guilt or regret. What the frick is that about? 

Because here's the thing- if I couldn't afford food for my child, no way would I be getting my hair dyed every 6-8 weeks. I'd let my red roots grow out if I had to. If I couldn't clothe my child, no way would I buy things for myself. I'd wear the same clothes every day if I had to. I spend 98% of my time with Addie, playing with her, looking after her, making memories with her. She's very well looked after and for someone who's not currently rolling in cash, I think I do a good job of making ends meet. And she sure as hell isn't missing out on anything. 

So sometimes I wanna go out and have a drink or ten and sometimes I need a break. Does that mean I'm a bad mum? Am I scarring my child for life for having a life of my own? I don't think so.

I suffered post natal depression for seven months after Addie was born and let me tell you this- I would have suffered a whole lot less if I'd done one bloody thing for myself and not felt so god damn bad about asking for the helping hand that I so desperately needed.

So mums, dads and carers remember this- You are still human and it is in your best interest AND your children's that you look after yourself too. Your children need you to be okay. 

Go for a walk, take a nap, buy some new shoes, get your nails done, go on a holiday without your kids, take up a hobby, make a weekly date night, catch up with friends. Whatever the hell it is that's going to give you some sanity or much needed alone time, do it! 

I know I'm a better mum when I'm not run into the ground and hating myself. So wherever this stigma came from, I know others feel it to, I'm going to try my very hardest to get rid of it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have a glass of wine in my much needed bubble bath.